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The Valentine’s Day romcom

There was going to be a heartwarming romantic story for Valentine’s Day. A story of likeable quirky characters coming together, having a few scrapes, then making a new home for themselves amid a pastoral scene of rainbows, bunnies and mellow masonry basking in the noonday sun. You never know, they might’ve bought some new windows along the way.

Unfortunately on this occasion, the story produced by our literary department was unsuitable for a family fenestration blog.

Sorry about that.

To make up for it, here’s a lovely romantic painting:

Oops, no. Same problem with that one.

Ah – Carnival Evening definitely contains the right elements. To provide contemporary relevance we’ve added a brief section of interpretive dialogue below.

CLOWN: We should go with SmashItLucky Windows. Their quote was five of the Queen’s quids to our advantage.

DAMSEL: Alas, their salesman wears dirty brogues. And, as I have heard tell, they fit cheapo frames.

CLOWN: A window is a window, precious rose.

DAMSEL: I thought I knew you. Now I feel sad.

CLOWN: But –

DAMSEL: I wish to be alone with my thoughts.

CLOWN: This is a calamity. But … forsooth! What would make milady forswear injurious thoughts?

DAMSEL: Why are you talking like that?

CLOWN: Ummm … we’re in 1886? Durr.

DAMSEL: Sounds more mediaeval, but never mind. Do you mean … that the nice man … and those expert Admiral Windows fitters … my eyes were deceiving me?

CLOWN: Milady has bold dreams of a century hence. Right now, it’s getting decidedly nippy. We must Godspeed our way home before darkness falls.

DAMSEL: (sighs) Before the midges.

Resist clowns. Say no to midges. Insist on midge-resistant windows from Admiral Windows Oxford.

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